Checklist: Things to do before I die #1
This is simply an ongoing list of the things I’d like to do before I die.
#1: Visit Denali National Park, Alaska (GPS Coordinates: 63°32.10 N, 149°49.75 W)
For a view that I can only poorly describe in words, please direct your attention to the National Geographic Adventure link below ( sixth picture on the bar).
http://adventure.nationalgeographic.com/2008/06/national-parks/most-beautiful-places-photography
That is absolutely gorgeous, I want to say I have never seen a more perfect picture. Look at how the rolling green hills just melt, giving way to the pale tan mountain range before the snow covers tips shocks you with blue granite. What an thrilling adventure that would be. Waking up every morning to a sunrise like you’ve never seen, wiping the frost from your nose and rubbing your arms in hopes circulation returns. And look at the guy in the picture, wearing what looks to be an orange jacket and shorts. Are you kidding me? I don’t give a damn how inviting it looks, Alaska eats fools in shorts for breakfast. (I admit, he could be wearing skin-tight pale orange leg warmers, but shorts make for a funnier observation). Damn it, I wish I was him.
Denali National Park: National Geographic Adventure
(http://adventure.nationalgeographic.com/2008/06/national-parks/denali-text for the lowdown).
I have to be honest with you, I’d like you to believe that I am an outdoorsmen — built for the rugged land, cooking over an open campfire and shitting in the woods. But the truth is, I wouldn’t last more than three days in the wilderness. My last great outdoors adventure was several years ago, on a trip in the Japan. Not only did I fail to shit all week, but I also managed to angle my lean-to shelter so that I slide downhill in my sleep while my flysheets caught every gust of wind. Every night for a week. My lack of common sense will be the death of me in Alaska.
I also seem to be extremely vulnerable to variations in weather. For much of my life, I convinced myself that growing up in a developing country (Thailand) gifted me with a superior immune system. As a wealthy white foreigner, I managed to avoid malaria, various animal flu epidemics, and unsanitary water. So I thought to myself, “My God, I must be invincible! Surely such exposure mutated my body to withstand most anything”
But I’ve found that the opposite is true, especially when the outdoors is involved. More often than not, I am tent-ridden, incapacitated by some illness or another. Symptoms include swollen throat, runny nose, high fevers and phlegm to spare. So I have recently to come to the conclusion that my life in the third world actually ruined me. My cells are so spent from years of staving off deadly infection that now I no longer have the life force to keep the natural world at bay. I have survived smog filled cities, bacteria-ridden rivers and fires that blot out the sun, but the freaking woods kill me every time.
Denali will be legendary. Let’s leave tomorrow.
Only you can prevent forest fires.
“Before you came along…
…we Bagginses were very well thought of.”
Dear hapless reader,
Allow me to explain the truthful circumstances of this “blog”, this foolish collection of murmurs, ill-conceived conclusion and grand capers. Contrary to common belief I did NOT waylay our friend Cameron. I did not accost him, nor hold him against his will at gunpoint, sword point, broken bottle point or even board-with-a-nail-through-it point.
No ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Cameron Tyler “Danger” Nonnekes Boswell willingly entered into this joint partnership. Because as truth would have it, we are skylarks and simply so. We have no agenda, no platform and no idea how to get from Point A to Point Z. But we both consider the path before us and think “Well now, this looks mighty tempting!”
We are students of our childhood and we toast to those who’ve gone before as youth forever. So as Cameron raises his glass to Mr. Vonnegut, today I lift mine to Mr. Twain.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Now that you’ve had your fill of dramatic swill, I’m off “ to run up and down the rigging of a ship in sport”.
“It all boils down to one quotable phrase…
I’m not quite sure how I got roped into this blog. I will pretty much blame Ryan. For any of you who have ever met me, this is a pretty common occurrence (I often blame my friends for events that are either clearly not anyones fault or my fault) So in the spirit of “blogging”, I will just use this to endorse all the books/movies/products that I think are amazing and/or I know will irritate Ryan. (Also a consistent theme)
I think it makes sense to at least explain the basic theory behind our writing. Let us start with Urban Dictionaries definition.
Skylarking – Tomfooleries, Shennanigans, Kooky Mishaps, Humorous Antics, or any kind of act that is packed full of mischeivious content.
Merriam-Webster has it as –
1: to run up and down the rigging of a ship in sport
2: Frolic, Sport
However, I learned the word from Kurt Vonnegut in his address to a college graduating class.
Do not take the entire world on your shoulders. Do a certain amount of skylarking, as befits people of your age. “Skylarking,” incidentally, used to be a minor offense under Navel Regulations. What a charming crime. It means intolerable lack of seriousness. I would love to have a dishonorable discharge from the United States Navy–for skylarking not just once, but again and again and again.
Ryan and I are skylarkers. When we are together, our combined age might reach 8, maybe 9. In this spirit of recapturing our inner child (can’t recapture our youth…we still are youth) we will write, complain, cajole, argue and accomplish no goals, minor or major (we are after all, postmodern children, ambition is our poison)
But maybe in the huge mess we create, as we dig sloppily to bury our treasure, as we steal cardboard boxes to create time machines, we will discover hidden gems. Or not, but at least we will have fun.
"Intolerable lack of seriousness"
…if you love something, give it away” –Bright Eyes
nonnekes
Skylarks Anonymous 